What's next for our family?

I need help - fast

Hiyall,

I need help with our current situation. We are married 8 yrs, second time for both of us.

We get along fine - except we hardly have sex, or holding hands or kissing or any form of intimacy. It has been different in the beginning. After many tears and all that comes with it, he told me I do not shower enough. And my weight was an issue. He never saw me shower cause I went into the bathroom after he was off to work, I took care of the kids in the morning and so on....now I make sure I am in shower before him - like always, every day.

Yes, I gained weight after the baby, 5 years ago. I am down to a size 10 again and he says it is not the issue. Now it is stress at work... or taxes or money or whatever. I understand all of that. But come on no sex in months. I know he looks at porn online. I check his computer and email. He travels a lot to Chicago, a few nights in a row. So I am always suspicious and it kills me. I know he talks a lot to an old flame on the phone when he travels. Now he changed her entry in the cell phone from her name to a different name, same number. He knows I know and he told me she is just the ex wife of an old friend. Yesterday I found in his email that he has registered with an online site for 1 on 1 sex in the area of Chicago. I checked his post and profile and signed up there too to check him out. What shall I do???? I am impatient if it comes to this. I do not know yet when he has to travel again next, I can not secretly follow for we have three children living in the house.

I do not get this. I am 45, good looking, love to have sex. He tells me he loves me and that he does not want me to leave and that the problem is on his side. Then I find this online thing ..... Now What?

Please help / advise fast, I am going insane. Cannot look at him or pretend everything is ok until I know more.

If he hasn't already cheated, he will soon in my opinion.

You need to confront him, NOW.